I recently wrote about attention as the currency of relationships. What determines the perceived quality of our attention? How can we improve the value of our attention to family, friends, coworkers and clients? Make the most of the time we have together?
I think there are several dimensions to the quality of our attention. The core of which came from some works by David Maister and company on defining trust from his book the Trusted Advisor. I’ve modified and added to this equation. The elements:
In formula it would look like:
Quality of Attention = (Credibility + Reliability +Character + Intimacy)/Focus
Credibility is about whether or not we should even be in the conversation with someone. I am rarely credible to strangers I meet through work, but if we are discussing something I am passionate about I quickly gain credibility.
Reliability is about doing what I said I would do and in deeper relationships I should anticipate and being to support people without being told.
Character is about proving your integrity over time, not about being interesting.
Intimacy is about being open like vulnerable trust. In our personal lives this can be taken further than maybe in our business roles.
And Focus is about who you are focused on. Are you focused on the other person? That is positive. Focus only on yourself and you undermine anything you do in the other categories.
Can you improve your relationships by paying a higher quality attention?